Blood and Bubbles
by Verboten Byacolate
Summary: Autobiography of a shark. [Kisame]


For _**Zinbuki-san**_, who shares my belief that, dammit, we need more Kisame in our fanfiction!

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**Blood and Bubbles**

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_Keep on trying. I'll not die so easily._

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I grew up in Mist, which automatically qualifies me as a sadistic bastard. Bloodthirsty, blue, and thirty-two; that's me. I have no sob story about how my childhoood was _so scarring_, and that I became the brute I am today because of bad parenting. On the contrary, my family was just about as "loving" as you can get while in the environment we lived in. It was just me and them, so we relied on each other. I grew up strong. Then, I suppose I wanted to be stronger. So my mother forged Samehada for me when I was fourteen. Father always jibed at me with, "Ne, Kisame, is it really healthy to be best friends with an overgrown sword?"

I even had a cat. And before you ask, _no_, I did not eat her. She's still alive, in fact, and I do indeed have some measure of affection for her. And, yes, actually, she _is_ the color of dried blood. How did you guess?

Sure I loved my parents. But we all leave the nest someday. And after I was gone, I drifted over in the direction of the Akatsuki.

Really. It's as simple as that. If you were looking for a long account of tragic heroics-turned-dark, drama, angst, tragedy, and maybe a hint of romance, then you'd be mistaken. I have no time for the prior four, and, as you'll find I'm not afraid to admit, my sex drive is incredibly low. Not that I was never a teenage boy (I mean, come on, didn't you read the first paragraph?), but my parents never exposed me to any sort of passionate or loving relationship. Unless, of course, you count their passion for dominance in battle.

That's all I've ever learned at home and with the Akatsuki. Fight to survive, fight to eat, fight to gain shelter, fight to not gag yourself with your clothes out of boredom.

Might I now take the time to point out that I am not fond of breaking peoples bones and joints? I don't. Personally, I don't find any point in it. The offended limbs and such would eventually heal, and sure there'd be a satisfying crack or two (or three), but _really_. People seem to find me brutish for preferring to rip someone's legs off instead of breaking them or merely knocking them out and tying them up.

It's not brutality, fools; it's _logic_. What if they're experienced nin and break free of your binds? What if they have some freakish arm-lengthening or body-manipulating bloodline limit that allows them to make up for their broken legs in combat? Ripping the lim off will not only detain the target, but will blind them with pain, cloud their minds with agony, make certain that they are unable to escape _ever_, and (this one's for the "knock him out" fanatics) maybe, if enough blood is lost, they'll... pass out or something.

_(It's more likely that they'll die, but don't tell THEM that.)_

Itachi. Uchiha Itachi. Sigh. What can I say? He's pretty. He's cold, calculating, powerful, sadistic, skilled, cunning, quite evil, and pretty. He's also the reason that no one knows who I am independantly. Sure, they quake in terror in my prescence, pointing and turning white and the like, but all of the thrill from that leaves when all I hear is, "I-it's Uchiha Itachi's partner! EEEE!!" It gets irritating very quickly.

I tried to kill him once. Does that come as a surprise? We had just become partners and I wanted to test my short wisp of a comrade. Suffice to say, I never tried again. He was good. And I'm not ashamed to admit that he is stronger than I am. We don't have pride issues, he and I. Sure he's arrogant, but I simply let the aloofness slide off my shoulders. Isn't that was grins are for anyway?

Do I have any goals, you ask? Nothing farther than the want to be stronger. I have no grudge, and no use for revenge. I'm simple, you could say. I just like to fight. I'm actually quite normal; I even visit my parents in Mist whenever I'm in the area. I know it's not somethign to expect of a missing nin. But I'm just a man with a few sharkish features.

Bloodthirsty, blue, and thirty-two. That's all I am, and, quite frankly, that's all I want to be.

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So many words, can't describe my face  
This feeling's evolved, so soon to break out  
I can't relate to a happy state  
feeling the blood run inside_

- Fin -

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**"SLICE" says Samehada.  
Lyrics: **_**System**_**, by Linkin Park.  
HAHAHA.  
I love shower inspiration.  
Reviews would make Kisame even happier than the little joyful mess he is in this oneshot.  
-Bya  
(P.S. Isn't 'Samehada' the coolest word EVER?!)  
sharkish logic pwns**


End file.
